|Photograph taken for the Moscow Paper ~ The last for my sports career|
Yes it may seem odd that I am writing about sports. I can't sleep with a darn with my mind racing in a million different directions. I just finished the movie Moneyball. If you have not seen it ~ trust me watch. It is a movie about heart, a different belief system, how to think outside the box, how to win without all the money! I really thought my life was going to be about winning the gold medal, yes in the Olympics...where else and getting all the money! I used to write in my journal late every night on how I was going to get there, which school I might sign with, then yes making it to the last level ~ THE GOLD. Well as you well know I didn't get anywhere close to that dream. It was crushed by a little thing called Bipolar. I didn't sign up for this life! The one of stress, worry, crying daily, feeling like I am on speed, then the next moment wanting to end it all. Yes I got the gold prize for winning Bipolar 1 - yes the severe kind. Who knew though that by winning this illness I would WIN the lottery of all time...my husband Matt, my daughter Allie, and a relationship with Christ. That my friends is better than any gold medal hanging in a case. I will keep helping others with this rotten illness because I want to WIN this battle. I want to conquer and crush it. I want the rest of America to accept it and not fear it. So with all the sports stuff way down deep inside me I will run faster in that last 100 meters cross the tape once again but not on the track ~ but one of beating this stigma. I will raise the bar to new heights. Watch out America here I come!