Wednesday, November 16, 2011


I was in a real slump this past October.  I can think back now of coarse and see my triggers!  First of all I booked too many events.  It was hard for me to say no and I always talk myself into more than I can take on.  MISTAKE!  Then I had some rough stuff happen in my family which was emotionally awful.  Third and last I got physically sick.  So take into account all of that it turned into a nice package of depression.  JUST KIDDING.  It was awful.  Lots of crying, anger, agitation, stomping around, hard to eat, and even tougher to sleep!  So I did something wild I bought a puppy on the spur of the moment.  A Golden Retriever.  Matt named him Murphy.  He was the perfect distraction for my depression.  While Allie was at school I walked him, taught him tricks, hugged him, talked to him, and loved on him.  He is so sweet and cute how could I not get a little happy.  AND little by little he started to chip away at my depression and I came back to myself - free of sadness - at least for now.  I love our new addition to the family!  Maggie

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Sea Glass

I don't know what it is about sea glass but I love looking for it.  My friend Tara and I started really getting into when our husbands went on a guys golf tournament weekend.  We took the kids to the beach every day to save our sanity!  A friend of mine told me about a couple of fun place to collect sea glass so off we went!  Little did we know we would be getting addicted to it.  Maybe it is something about the tumbled glass and beauty of each piece that intrigues me.  When we go we stay for hours looking up and down at low tide finding these small treasures that bring so much gratification to us.  Our children run up and down looking for sea creatures, building sand castles, and kicking balls into the water.  Even our husbands our happy.  They sit and kick back in their chairs reading the paper, or watching the surfers, or talking about the sad sorry Chargers!  I now need to do something neat with all these wonders of the sea.  Maybe a necklace or two, some candles, or glue them around a frame.  Sea Glass has a special place in my heart from 15 years ago.  I was in a psychiatric ward at Stanford.  One of our craft days was taking small pebbles of rounded sea glass and gluing them on a candle.  Back then it was such a big deal that I could complete an actual task.  When you are in a manic episode it feels almost hopeless to finish anything no matter how small.  Now I think of this sea glass that I collect today.  I am a well person for the most part.  I get to be out with friends and family while collecting it.  I feel the freedom and the passion while I pick up these pieces that I am alive, I am blessed, I am able to be among others.  What a privilege that is.  Maggie

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Beach Walks Help Me Smile!

I love the ocean.  Something about sound of the waves, the feel of the sand beneath my feet, the birds in 6 packs running along the shoreline hoping to eat the sand crabs, and the beautiful treasures I find along the way.  At twenty two years old I moved to my first beach town.  Ocean Beach in San Diego, Ca.  It was a funky little place with tons of character.  I would ride my bike all over town, go to the farmers markets every Wednesday for cheese and fresh vegetables, and surf with Matt.  I lived two blocks from the ocean in a 500 square foot beach cottage.  It was a blast.  Even on a bad day as long as I got myself down to the ocean things would start to pick up.  This past weekend we stopped by this little town for a burger.  It was fun to show Allie where Matt and I had lived and where our love continued to grow.   Years later I lived in Coronado Island for a year with Matt and my daughter Allie while looking for a home to buy.  While living on the island, our favorite place was called Silver Strand State Beach.  On a low tide we would find sand dollars everywhere.  Even after we moved off the Island and now live 20 minutes away from the closest beach I still go to get myself out and into the world.  I love getting sandy, chasing my daughter into the waves, reading the Wall Street Journal with Matt, and most of all taking in God's beauty.  Maggie

Monday, November 7, 2011

A Fresh Start

Allie gives me a reason to get out of bed.  Even when I am really down and out I can't just crawl down in my covers like I used to.  All throughout my twenties on a bad day I would cry and do everything I could to avoid life.  It was tough when I had my job...sometimes I would cancel appointments because I was so depressed.  When you have a child you can't cancel, you can't check out, you have to feed them, clean them, get them to school.  Allie makes me want to live even when my mind is playing awful tricks on me and I want to check out.  She is the light to my daily life.  Yes my husband is too but now that I have a child I feel as though I have so much more of a responsibility to stay on top of my illness.  I need to be here for Allie 100% and that means working on what it takes to beat bipolar one day at a time.   I love Allie more than I thought I could love anybody.  I love this picture of her in her little Burberry coat in front of the famous fountain at Balboa park.  It shows show life.  Maggie