A lot can happen in a YEAR!

My family and my award for National Alliance of Mentally Ill Young Advocate of the Year ~ San Diego

Speech for The International Bipolar Foundation and Book Signing

Speech for the Rancho Bernardo Rotary   

A year ago I went to my first event for my book.  It was for authors that published a book in San Diego.  They had all the books on display in the downtown San Diego Library.  I was so excited!  My book was going to be somewhere where people could actually look at it and my name would be kind of out there for the first time.  I made me nervous too.  There I would be telling the world that I have bipolar and how I am dealing with it.  As 2011 progressed I had no idea what was in store for me.  I ended up doing 15 speeches throughout San Diego, 2 NAMI walks, a book signing at the famous Warwicks Bookstore  in La Jolla,  a keynote speaker for Tri-City Medical Center, asked to be on the executive board of The International Bipolar Foundation, won the Young Advocate of the Year for The National Alliance of Mentally Ill, was on 2 different radio programs for the book, attended the Choice Awards in Hollywood, and then asked if I would like to have my own radio program on Blog Talk Radio.  It has been one amazing journey.  If someone asked me what did you like best about last year I would have to say it is incredible when someone comes up to you crying, hugging you, saying that my book saved their daughter's life.  That's it! That made my entire year.  

  

 So now off to my next challenge.  The Blog Talk Radio.  I have my first guest this weekend.  I read Natalie's book the past couple of days.  It took me a long time because I cried my way through it and it is hard for me to concentrate right now.  I loved it though.  Every page.  She is honest, connects with the readers in every way imaginable, and taught me so much of how difficult it is to have a drug addiction along with bipolar.  I have never understood drug addiction until reading this book.  If your loved one is addict along with bipolar I encourage you to read this book when it comes out in May.  I hope you all listen in on Saturday night!  I will put the link below.

Website: www.thethirdsunrise.com

Natalie Jeanne Champagne is the author of The Third Sunrise. At the age of twenty-six, after many years struggling with a diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder at the age of twelve, addictions and disordered eating, she walked the road less traveled and somehow found her way home. Natalie regularly contributes to mental health and addictions publications and is an advocate for mental health. She currently lives in British Columbia, Canada. The Third Sunrise is her first book.

I am so excited to share with all of you I will be interviewing Natalie Jeanne Champagne Feb. 4th on Blog Talk Radio. I will provide all the info and link so you can listen it! Incredible story she has to tell.

The Third Sunrise - Home Page

www.thethirdsunrise.com

The Third Sunrise - A book by Natalie Jeanne Champagne.

It takes a Village!

Me in the middle of my worst manic episode just after having Allison

This is a tough topic for me to talk about. It will be my next book someday. I just wanted to share a few thoughts have how difficult it is to be a mother with bipolar disorder and how high the risk is. It is A HUGE RISK. So not joking there. I wish I could tell you all that it was no big deal and everything was a breeze. But it wasn't. It was just the opposite in every way. Our huge blessing though that Allison was a health easy baby girl and that in itself was just wonderful. As for me, I lost my brain entirely within 4 days of having Allie. I didn't know that my family was alive, sometimes I didn't know that I had a child, I stared at the wall day in and day out for months (sometimes I knew what has happening other times totally checked out). The paranoia was extreme. So bad that I don't want to give you all the details...that would take like 200pages! But what I would like to say in short is that it does take a village to raise a child weather you are a normal mom or a mom with a mental illness. I posted part of my village below. Without them all who knows what could have happened. When you are that ill there is no way you can feed a baby and take care of them properly when you don't even know how to put clothes on yourself. My daughter has been asking for a baby sister lately which is hard. I know I can't have another ~ maybe just maybe adoption but we will wait and see what I can handle. It is hard for me to be around moms with 2 or 3 kiddos. It was something I always wanted. But you know I am so so so blessed to be able to have Allison. I did get my brain to come back slowly but I have paid the price with gaining huge anxiety that I had never had before. I hope to someday get rid of it. No matter what though having Allie is the best decision Matt and I ever made and I would go through the hell all over again if asked. My heart goes out to all the mothers out there that have children and deal with any form of mental illness. Blessings,

Just before I went crazy for 9 long months

Father-in-law Jim helps out

Best Friend ~ Carrie takes a nap with Alliecakes 

My sister Amy came to the house a lot to help 

Donna giving her love and support to baby and us

What Complete Relaxation Is!

Kauai ~ The view from our room

So today as I drove home in the cold dank fog my mind began to wander to a relaxing place.  I immediately went to Hawaii.  You can't be cold and miserable in Hawaii!  So I pictured myself laying in the sand taking in the warmth and cooling off in the perfect water temperature of the salty ocean.  Awesome.  The last time I was in this amazing place was four years ago.  Allison was about one at the time.  The way we got there brings a wild tale in itself.  We didn't just decide to go on a vacation and drop a ton of money to get there!  My mother-in-law a year before was in a plane crash.  Donna is a pilot.  She was not flying her plane the day of her accident.  She was on her way to Monterrey to pick up her plane that was being repaired.  The pilot of the small plane she was a passenger in ran out of gas of all things.  He had old gauges that didn't read right.  They ran out of gas just a few miles short of the airport.  The crashed into a golf coarse and rolled down the fairway.  By the grace of God Donna survived.  She had to be pulled out of the wreckage with the jaws of life.   The crash happened just a couple of weeks before her first grandchild was born.  It was a horrifying thing to happen.  Our family was shocked and relieved all at the same time.  When Matt and I went to the hospital to see her it looked like somebody had taken a baseball bat to her entire body.  She didn't complain but gave thanks to God.  She has amazing faith and courage.  Within the year she was back in her own plane flying patients to hospital appointments.  She does this a lot!  All out of the goodness of her heart to help others less fortunate. A couple of years later she decided we were going to go on a fun trip to enjoy living!  She took my brother and sister-in-law to Europe on the Concordia (the one that just sank in Italy) and then took Matt, Allie, and I off to Kauai.  We had an amazing time.  PURE RELAXATION in every way!  We went to the beach daily, ate fresh fruit, did some hikes, jumped off a waterfall into a lagoon (Donna went off a rope swing...she is much more brave with adventure than me)!  So yes today is COLD but than I think of Hawaii.  There are warmer days ahead.  Life is a journey isn't it.  One has to go through hard days to get to the good ones.  When I have those great days I soak them up!  Have a warm thought for me today. 

Matt swing on yes real vines!

My Happy place!

Donna and Allie enjoying a day on a boat trip.

Lake Tahoe ~ What I think Heaven LOOKS Like!

Lake Tahoe ~  Heaven

There is something about Lake Tahoe that is just magical.  As I sit inside watching the rain fall today I couldn't help but think of some place that brings me so much joy.  I am not one for being in a happy place when it is wet and cold.  So when I came across these pictures today I wanted to share a few!  Matt's parents bought a second home there about 6 years ago.  It has been a place where all the family can meet up and enjoy each other over the years and take in the beauty of the Sierra Nevada's.  From snowboarding in Heavenly, sledding, ice-skating in the winter to swimming in the lake, hiking, boating, and having good quality time with the Reese's it has been such a gift Matt's parents have given us all.  This summer we are all having a huge family reunion there.  It will be good to see everyone from all over the place. Fun to catch up with relatives I have not seen in a while.  I am blessed to have Matt's family.  Yes sometimes we have our times with each other but so does everyone!  My goodness if you don't have a disagreement every once in a while there must be something wrong.  I love them all very much and to have their support 100% ~ well you can't ask more than that.  Thank You REESE'S

Me (Pregnant!) Matt, Brother-in-law Todd, Sister-in-law-Laura, Niece Cami

Just love this pic ~  Matt diving in

A hike we went on through the Aspens

My in-laws Donna and Jim and niece Cami

Remember how important your family is today! 

Maybe the start of my Next Book?

Dordogne, France

Chapter 1 - Dordogne France

As I sit on my beautiful sweeping porch over looking my small piece of land outside the city I can’t help but think of my life four years ago at this very time as I watch the pollen float through like snow falling on the pine trees.  Then I was 31 years old and six months pregnant.  Mom and I were sitting on our balcony in the Southern Region of France in the town of Dordogne.  Our house was a stone house that had been there for over 400 years with the back of the house the actual cliffs as our backside wall.  It was truly a magical place.  At that time the pollen was also in season there as well.  Mom painted away while I looked with amazement across the incredible valley the swept before us.  Below was the little french town with winding streets, and villagers going to and fro to their jobs.  Then beyond that that great Dordogne river cut through with river boats that had music on them daily.   To my right there was a huge Estate.  It was very old but had an intense beauty about it.  Then off in the distance we could also see an old castle.  It was quite a special place there was no denying that.  

The only tough part of the trip is I started to get sick in my tummy again!  And that I did!  I would vomit just about every where we went.  My mom put up with me though and we did still have a great time.  Besides the vomiting I had that old fear that had started creeping up on me. 

                                                                                

Six Month Pregnant

The view from our rock house of the Chateau in the distance...

 

What makes me HAPPY!

So really what does make me happy when I really sit down and rack my little brain?  Well yes a fur coat is cool and a fancy car would be awesome...but really does that make anyone REALLY happy.  NO way it is family.  I love my family so much.  I love my husband to pieces even when he drives me crazy and my little daughter well she is the light of my life.  How blessed am I to have these two helping me daily with fighting a mental illness.  It has been a rough week for all of us.  Matt is holding down the fort the best he knows how.  Allie is joking with me like crazy to get a laugh from her mom.  She knows I don't feel good.  Children are smart.  Way smarter then we give them credit.

I thought I would share a few pictures of my happiness today because that is what came to mind.
If you are looking for structure and a routine in my blog ~ I promise you will not find it here!  Yes I will post but what ever comes to mind for the day or the moment.  I hope your day out there in the world has some happy moments ~ look for them will you.  They are there just open HAPPY pics!

Maggie Takes on the Chicken!

Hey everyone I thought I would give you an inside up and close personal view of my life.  This was one of those nights where I am trying to cook a chicken with my brain spinning like 100 miles an hour.  I have no choice but to cook because Matt and Allie are looking at me with those sad puppy begging eyes....Please FEED!  Ok so here you go...ENJOY!

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